Beyond the Perfect Body Trap: How I Built My Own Definition of Strength (A Complete Guide)
Let me share something personal with you. I used to be that person at the gym, going through the motions with my personal trainer ex, doing everything “right” but feeling completely disconnected. If this resonates with you, I invite you to read my blog post “Beyond the Scale: A Letter to Women Chasing External Validation,” where I share my full journey. But for now, let me tell you - I was chasing an image, not health - and that’s exactly why it wasn’t working.
(Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you click through and make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no additional cost to you.)
Part 1: Recognizing Your “Why”
For me, it took a doctor saying, “Five years until diabetes,” to wake me up. But your catalyst might be different. The key is finding that genuine, soul-deep motivation that goes beyond the mirror.
Self-Reflection Questions:
What brought you to this point in your journey?
Whose validation are you really seeking?
What would true health mean for your future?
Part 2: Building Your Foundation
Once you find your true “why,” it’s time to build a solid foundation, here’s what worked for me and what might help you:
Knowledge Is Power
Research your specific health needs (I started with these keto cookbooks):
Looking back, I wish I had documented my journey from the start. Not just for the physical changes but to track how my energy levels shifted, my mood improved, and my overall health transformed. Sometimes, the most significant changes happen gradually, and you don’t notice them until you look back at where you started. That’s why I recommend:
A journal to document your journey. From the recipes you’ve loved, weekly check-ins with yourself, and what exercises felt aligned with you. Any journal will do.
It’s easier said than done not to feel intimidated in the gym, especially when you’re not used to being there. One thing that made me feel more confident was wearing gym outfits I felt comfortable and confident in. This is the brand I started with and still use almost two years later: Love and Sports.
Using the Fitplan app also helped me feel confident in the gym. I love choosing workouts that fit the season I’m in, whether I’m working on toning my body or more focused on cardio. My favorite trainers so far have been Michelle Lewin, Marissa Rivero, Brittne Babe, and Lauren Findley.
Part 3: Creating Your Sacred Space
Your environment matters more than you might think. Looking back, I wish I had taken this more seriously. As a girl who loved sweet treats, saying goodbye to snacks initially seemed impossible. But something magical happened when I began gradually removing temptations and replacing them with healthier options. When I committed to a strict keto diet, those cravings for sugary snacks and carbs naturally faded away. Here’s how to set yourself up for success:
Set up a home workout area:
I love supporting other women-owned businesses and was excited to try out Blogilates to design my workout space. I have a workout mat, resistance bands, dumbbells, and a gym bag. Don’t feel the pressure or need to get everything because that’s when it begins to feel overwhelming. If you’re more on a budget, I recommend signing up for a Planet Fitness membership, which has most of these pieces of equipment depending on the location, so all you have to bring is yourself.
Organize your kitchen for success:
A water bottle. As simple as it sounds, I discovered during my health journey that having a water bottle nearby naturally increased my water intake. Soon, I was carrying it everywhere I went, and over time, I actually began to prefer water over other drinks.
Power Tips for Your Journey:
Start small, but start today
Celebrate non-scale victories
Make decisions from a place of self-love, not self-criticism
Trust the process, even on tough days
Remember: This journey isn't about becoming someone else—it's about becoming more authentically you. Every early morning workout, every mindful meal choice, and every small victory is a step toward the person you're meant to be.
And here's something I wish I had known: you don't have to walk this path alone like I did. There's a whole community of women just like us supporting each other through the ups and downs, celebrating victories (big and small), and sharing what actually works. I created the space I wish I'd had when I started—where your questions are welcomed and your journey is honored, whatever it looks like.
Your transformation story is already being written with every choice you make. I'd love to hear what chapter you're starting today, whether you join us or continue exploring on your own.
